Dear executives in charge of Morgan Stanley,
I see from a news report that you are now starting to take the opinions of a 15-year-old intern and his friends as a basis for your business models. This is very exciting stuff! Because you are now such a forward-thinking organization, I have a proposition for you. After polling my cat, my teddy bear and a deer that was walking through my backyard, it has come to my attention that none of them have ever heard of Morgan Stanley.
Therefore, I would encourage you to immediately divest yourselves from the company, transferring all assets to my name.
I am quite certain that I can run the business better than you have because:
- a) I don’t care what a bunch of teenagers who want everything for nothing think and,
- b) I do not have a tendency to overreact to something dubbed news that, in reality, is old information and easily discovered by simply living in the world instead of studying it.
In case you don’t monitor blogs because your 15-year-old intern and his friends don’t read them, I plan on sending this note to you via Pony Express. Not only is it more in line with your century of focus, but it will come via a delivery vehicle full of what seems to be of great importance to you.
With kindest regards,
Ari B. Adler (and Tigger)