The Declaration of Independence 2.0

Jefferson-imageWith all due respect to Thomas Jefferson, the author of the Declaration of Independence, a morning spent frustrated by Microsoft Windows, Internet Explorer and my work PC in general gave rise to a lunch hour creativity streak and an updated version of the Declaration. Besides, what better time than right before Independence Day to release “The Declaration of Independence 2.0?”  🙂

When in the course of computing events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the operating system which has connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Computing entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of Windows users requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that not all operating systems are created equal, that some are endowed by their programmers with certain inexplicable flaws, that among these are a Start button, Internet Explorer, and the Blue Screen of Death. That to secure personal files, operating systems should be instituted for users, deriving their just powers from the consent of those users; that whenever any form of operating system becomes destructive of these users’ files, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish that operating system, and to institute a new operating system, laying its code on such principles and organizing its powers in such form as to serve users in ways most likely to affect their file safety and computing happiness.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that operating systems long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown, that computer users are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same bottom line for Microsoft, evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such operating systems, and to switch to new operating systems for their future security. Such has been the patient sufferance of Windows users; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former operating system. The history of the present King of Computing is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute tyranny over Windows users. To prove this, let facts be submitted to a candid world and LONG LIVE THE MAC!

(Portrait of Jefferson by Charles Willson Peale, 1791 — source: Wikipedia.)

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One comment on “The Declaration of Independence 2.0

  1. This just made my day! Maybe you can be the new spokesman for Apple? Seems like they’re having some transparency problems these days and you can tell it how it is.

    Like

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